Due to the popular response of my previous article, Get Off the Stage and Get In the Moment, which discussed the infectious social media epidemic, I thought it was time to poke fun at another one of my social media-related pet peeves.
Always Connected, Yet So Disconnected…
We live in a world where our social media lives bleed into our realities and enable us to hide. We hide behind our filtered images, motivational quotes we do not actually live by, a false sense of friendships and strategically-timed posts. Essentially, the majority of us are on stage hiding behind the characters we wish to convey as our realities.
In our generation, gone are the days of the heartbroken being forced to sit in silence and sulk or actually leave their homes to mingle. An ego boost or emotional band-aid is only a like, a follow or a friend request away.
We remain so connected online that we are often entirely disconnected from ourselves. A woman scorned can wipe the mascara stains from her eyes, proclaim online that she is “Ready to take the world by storm” and thereby convince herself that all is well in her artificially constructed little life. However, just as flirtation, ego boosts and connecting with new conquests has become more convenient than ever, so has game-playing, passive-aggressive manipulation and vengeful, knife-turning opportunities.
People have become conditioned to avoid confrontation and, instead, use the untactful and passive-aggressive approach to gaining the attention of the object of their frustration by utilizing the ultimate of platforms: The Social Media Stage. We utilize it to proclaim our independence and newfound single-hood, we make declarations about ridding our lives of that which is not working, we whine about what those in our lives are not doing enough of, we strategically flaunt our victories in the faces of those who have disappointed us and, last but certainly not least, convey our angst to those we would rather not confront directly. How convenient, right?
So… Was That Post About Me?
Have you ever been a victim of such passive-aggressive frustration? Almost 100 percent of the time, the poster anticipates the moment you will ask, “So, was that status about me?” If their post or tweet plants a seed of paranoia within you, it eliminates the need for them having to initiate the conversation at all. Most importantly, though, an awkward introductory speech nor preface is needed. Or, perhaps, their rant simply did not fit into the confines of 140 twitter characters. Perhaps, though, they may deny the post was ever about you at all. Either way, you know it was. You know that status was created for your eyes to see. You know that Instagram quote was directed toward you. You know that tweet was about you… don’t you?
…Or, was it?
Possibly, but not so fast…
I like to occasionally celebrate and document my life online, as well as vent frustrations I feel others may relate to. I enjoy proclaiming my victories, documenting my travels and adventures, passionately expressing my opinions, sharing my husband’s odd idiosyncrasies and expressing my gratitude for those I love. It is also thrilling to have an audience, which is why I believe social media is as much fun as it is. I believe every social media obsessed person is secretly at least somewhat of a closet narcissistic fame whore seeking attention and affirmation. I have been guilty of such.
I have also come to realize, however, that not everyone is genuinely interested in my ever-changing hair color, philosophical rants, my most recently published article, my dog’s spa day or the steak dinner I devoured on Valentine’s Day. It’s okay; I’m cool with it. Lack of interest from others is not going to stop me from sharing what I desire to share. I believe we all must come to understand that we do not need anyone’s interest in our lives to validate the happiness or love within our lives.
Mic In Hand, So On This Soapbox I Shall Stand…
An unfortunate byproduct of our ability to step onto the social media stage and engage our audience at any time is that we have become quite the paranoid little culture. Insecurity and paranoia bleeds through our curiosities. Either not enough is about us or everything is. Either we are excluded or overexposed. Some find themselves measuring their friendships by who posts the most pictures of them or leaves ego-stroking comments the most often.
The pendulum swings from paranoia to attention-seeking narcissism. Such extremes are a result of everyone’s ability to always possess a megaphone to speak through and a soap box to stand on. Gone are the days of being forced to endure face-to-face or voice-to-voice confrontation or… gasp!… undocumented conversation.
Sadly, so often people assume something posted online is about them when it isn’t at all. We have become so conditioned by our friends, frenemies and adversaries utilizing the social media stage that we have all become hypersensitive to what others post. Everyone wants to believe they are relevant enough to have provoked another to create a post about them, either good or bad. Truthfully, sometimes they are correct in their suspicions. Still, it’s as though some people assume that if they mention an interest in camping or skydiving, everyone who then posts anything related to camping or skydiving is surely attempting to gain their attention. Usually it is those who are guilty of such manipulative social media behavior who assume everyone else is also.
People assume everyone is interested in what they post every day, all day long. People assume everyone is listening when the mic is in their hand. The truth is, though, people are often more concerned with what others are thinking about them and are more focused on their own activity on Facebook and Twitter. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you; it just means people are more conscious of what is transpiring on their stage than on your stage. There are exceptions, of course. I have had my fair share of curious “creepers,” as have most. However, others are not as emotionally entangled in our online activities as we may assume.
People like your images so that you will like their images. People favorite your tweets so that you will favorite theirs. People delete posts and tags so that their most flattering content shows the most relevance and is, therefore, showcased. People attempt to manipulate and orchestrate their image comments so that they appear more desirable to others. People unfollow others solely because they were unfollowed by them. It’s as though we somewhat hold each other hostage to our social media accounts.
It’s vain. It’s contrived. It’s thirsty. It’s inauthentic. It’s narcissistic. It’s exhausting. It’s a total waste of time. Most of all, it’s also obvious. The majority of people will see right through the games others play online. Everyone knows better but they do it anyway. It’s okay, though. Each of us are products of this social media-driven generation as well as slaves to our egos, all to varying degrees of course. So, put your narcissistic hand in mine. We’re in this together.
P.S. You’re so vain, you probably think this article was about you…
I’m just being honest.
©TheDailyDoll.com/Lacey Johnson 2015
A revised version of this article has been published on The Huffington Post.