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The Ever-Swinging Pendulum…
In my life, I have begun to realize that behind the veil of every feeling I have ever experienced since I was a little girl, there have always been only two core emotions which brought forth actions and reactions: love and fear. These two emotions are the directors behind every expression of thought. They are the drivers of the bus. They are the captains of the ship. Whichever you are rooted in, you will create resulting perceptions and experiences for yourself. When I began to grasp this, it was astounding the problems I realized I had created for myself. I was in awe of my life and the power not only I had, but each of us has. I began to understand I possessed the power to shape my perception of the world and everything which happened to me.
Suppose you, a total stranger, approached me on the street and said, “Lacey, you are the biggest idiot on the planet and I hate you. I read your articles and you suck.” If my mindset was rooted in fear, I would likely react with thoughts such as, I suck, I suck, I suck. I must not be a great writer after all. Or, perhaps I would respond angrily by saying, “I bet you are a total loser with no social life or friends. One day you’ll be one of those creepy old ladies sitting knee-deep in a mountain of fifty cats.” However, if my mindset was rooted in love, I would react with thoughts such as, Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however he/she must be really miserable with his/her life and hurting inside to say something so rude to a stranger. I hope he/she gets the help they need. If I’m rooted in love for myself, harsh words such as those are going to bounce right off of me, leaving me unscathed.
The same principle applies when you engage in a disagreement with someone. Suppose you express your displeasure with something and do so in a respectful, calm way, yet they “freak out” and generate a dramatic, negative reaction. If such occurs, you can be sure their awareness is rooted in fear. Something you said evoked their inner feelings of fear. Perhaps it was a fear of being cast aside, abandoned, rejected or disliked. Regardless, they are just afraid. People do not react in anger unless they are afraid of something.
Behind every act of violence, bitterness, restraint, obsessiveness, competitiveness, jealousy, intolerance, hyper-criticism, gossip, temper tantrums and insensitivity is fear. Behind every scowling face and scorching word is fear. Yes, fear. They may mask their fear with anger and they may even fool themselves. Still, the fear is the feeling behind the series of feelings behind the expression of thought. Behind every act of forgiveness, kindness, generosity, selflessness, acceptance and healing is love. Behind every truce, every sincere smile and every genuine embrace is love. Yes, love.
Being grounded in love for others does not mean staying forever in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes love means staying, yet sometimes it means peaceful release. It also does not mean being weak or a pushover. In fact, quite the opposite. It takes strength to maintain peace within, particularly in aggravating moments. Fear disguised as anger is weak, for it is the easy way out.
One may perceive their act of anger and defensiveness as being a person who “doesn’t take anybody’s sh*t,” however they are only fooling themselves. They got upset, didn’t they? They gave their power away. Love gives no power away. It empowers, but does not relinquish any of its own. Love stands its ground and upholds its truth without seeking to punish or retaliate. Being rooted in love is being rooted in strength. Being rooted in love is being rooted in bravery.
Love magnifies the good; fear magnifies the wrongs. Love seeks to heal; fear seeks only to guard itself. Love calls a truce; fear declares war. Love perceives the beauty; fear perceives the inadequacies. Love accepts as is; fear abides in the desperation for change. Love abides in celebration; fear abides in a state of discontentment and comparison. Love perceives the big picture; fear perceives and hones in on the tiny fragments of ugliness.
Love seeks to take an honest look at itself; fear hides from all that is too painful to face. Love considers many possibilities and angles; fear seeks to only prove its solitary point. Love withdraws its sword; fear seeks another opportunity to turn the knife. It is an interesting yet simple notion of opposition and choice. There is always a decision. Whichever you are filled up with, you are guaranteed to release. Which will you choose?
I’m just being honest.
©TheDailyDoll.com/Lacey Johnson 2015