One of two reactions will occur upon your completion of this article: Either the information I am about to give you will not register with you whatever and you will, therefore, dismiss it entirely, or it will change your dating life forever.
Unless you are already happily married or in a healthy, long-term relationship, your reaction will likely be one of the two extremes. If negative, it is just your stubborn patterns and habits fighting to not be exposed; don’t fall for it. If you are a single female, frustrated by your inability to find “a good guy”, I challenge you to be honest with yourself while reading this. You deserve to have the relationship you have always dreamed of. Remember: In order to change something, you must first allow it to rear its ugly head.
Men Are Simple Creatures; Get it Through Your Skull…
I often play the role of counselor to my friends, and I often feel as though I repeat myself. I don’t mind, though. Friends did the same for me when I was single, so I suppose I feel as though I’m “paying it forward”.
Men are simple creatures. Simple. If a guy stops calling or sending you text messages, it seldom means he has suddenly become overwhelmingly busy. It does not mean he is manipulating you the way you have likely manipulated other men. In the majority of circumstances, it does not mean he is playing games, on the toilet, stressed about life or pouting in a corner. Rather, it either means he was never truly interested, has momentarily lost interest or someone else has taken a hold of his interest and thus has priority over any level of interest he may currently have in you.
The answer is quite simple; not some complex puzzle you need your girlfriends to help you solve. There is nothing to dissect nor analyze. If you are a female and a man is currently the object of your desire, I guarantee his feelings and intentions are far less of a complicated maze to detour than yours are.
Recall the men you have rejected countless times, yet continued coming back, eager to swallow further rejection. Recall the men who continue to write you each time your Facebook chat is on, provoking you to release an irritated groan and a string of eye rolls. Recalls the ones who continue to send you Snapchats regardless of how many times you have ignored their previous attempts at communicating, and who continue to ask you to dinner each and every time you become single.
When a man is genuinely interested, he is unstoppable. When he believes you are exceptionally special, he will walk to the ends of the earth while suffering painful blisters in an attempt to win you over. He will take it to annoying levels of pursuit before he eventually surrenders hope.
Thou Shalt Not Be “Thirsty”…
If a man isn’t putting forth much effort to spend time with you, it either means one of two things: You have conveyed the message that he doesn’t have to try particularly hard, or he doesn’t deem you as worth trying for. Men work for what they value and, truthfully, they enjoy working for it. Men enjoy accomplishing the task of winning you over. They enjoy the pursuit prior to the capture.
For many men, hunting it is one of their favorite ways to spend a Saturday morning. I do not personally agree with it, yet there are countless men who are thrilled by it. Consider this, though: If a deer were positioned in the middle of the field, completely visible and eager to be the hunter’s prey, proclaiming, “Lay it on me, baby. I’m right here for the taking. I’m all yours, and I’m ready to die,” do you think there would even be a sport? There would be appeal, for there would be no sense of accomplishment to be gained.
Because of the element of pursuit, when a hunter kills a deer, he views it as a prize. He high-fives his hunting buddy, overflowing with excitement and pride. He takes the deer home, grin plastered across his face, and brags about it for weeks to all who will listen. Years down the road, he will likely be overheard saying, “Man, I killed this buck one time…” Men enjoy working for what they achieve. The harder the prey was to capture, the greater the victory and sense of pride. The harder the prey was to capture, the more deeply and fondly the memory of the capture will be imprinted into his memory.
Ladies, stop allowing it to come so easily for him. Give him the pleasure of the pursuit. Stop saying or posting obvious attempts on social media to gain his attention. You likely look desperate and if you are able to capture his attention from such attempts, it will be superficial and fleeting. He is not as stupid as you think he is.
If he is ignoring you, yet you are posting songs you know he likes, rambling about topics you know he is interested in, and posting a slew of “kissy face” pictures in the same outfit he once complimented you in, you are sending the message that you are desperate for his attention. He may occasionally reply and entertain the attention, however he will not view you as a prize until you show him you are.
Does It Ever Feel Like Groundhog Day? Allow Me to Explain…
If you repeatedly find yourself in the same scenario with different men who either disappear out of nowhere or never fully appear to begin with, you need to ask yourself what you are doing to run them off.
Don’t shoot the messenger, for the messenger is attempting to help you end the cycles and patterns which are causing you immense frustration and confusion. My sole objective is to help you so that you can find the type of relationship you have always wanted.
Stop texting him and sending him sexy pictures of yourself, full cleavage on display and on a platter, when you haven’t heard a word from him in days or weeks. Stop resorting to desperate measures to make him lust after you, or perhaps simply remember your existence. It is not an attractive look no matter how great you may actually look in the pictures.
Stop putting it on a platter for him to pick and choose the parts he would like to take, leaving you alone to clean up the leftovers. He may take some or all of it, but you will likely receive nothing in return except for another confusing scenario of scratching your head and wondering what you did wrong, yet again.
What You Work For, You Uphold More..
Consider the following scenario: While shopping in a department store one lazy Saturday, your eyes beheld a display of the most beautiful handbag you had ever seen. It beckoned for you to become its owner. It was the most luxurious, delicately designed handbag your eyes had ever had the pleasure of feasting on, therefore your experience was nothing short of infatuation at first sight. Unfortunately, the handbag had a price tag attached to it which made it impossible for you to take home with you that day. In fact, it wasn’t possible for you to take it home with you on the following payday, or even two paydays in the future.
For months, each time you entered the store, you immediately scoped out the handbag display. You held the bag it in your hands, examining it lovingly. You smelled the leather, memorizing the feel of its texture moving across your fingertips. You badly wanted to be the owner of the bag, however you could not yet afford it. So, instead, you began to daydream about owning it.
As you saved, you experienced butterflies each time you realized you were getting one paycheck closer to becoming its owner. You saved for two months before finally making the purchase. Before exiting the parking lot, you showcased your new possession on Instagram and SnapChat, proud to share it with all of your friends and lurkers. Now that you were its owner, were you planning to allow the bag to get dirty and tarnished? Were you going to be negligent with its care, or allow it to sit in your closet, hidden from the rest of the world? Not in a million years.
You had to work for this bag, therefore you viewed it as a treasure. You kept it clean, protected it from stains, and treated it with the utmost level of respect. You carried it with pride, anticipating all of the compliments you received as a result. Because you had to earn it, you had a special level of admiration for it. No other bag in your closet could possibly compare.
Treasures Aren’t Given Away Freely…
What I am trying to convey to you is that placing the majority of your energy into being desired by men is entirely unnecessary and will only help you to achieve the opposite of your desired results. Stop chasing and stop placing your value into that pointless venture. The point is not to play “hard to get” while pretending to believe you are the dreamy handbag, but to actually be the bag! Don’t play the part of a prize, actually be one!
Respect yourself enough not to lay everything you have to offer on a platter for him to take whenever he chooses. Respect yourself enough to set standards for yourself, and refuse to make it effortless for someone to gain your attention and affection. You must come to believe that your affection and devotion are rare and precious, therefore it should not come freely and easily.
Visualize yourself as a prize, for you are. This concept has nothing to do with arrogance and everything to do with seeing the authentic value you possess as a human being. You deserve respect, so demand it. Stop giving your treasures away freely to hungry, greedy thieves.
I’m just being honest.